the green monster

I'm jealous I will admit it. I am jealous of many people for many reasons, but the thing that I am most jealous about is that my precious little daughter will never know the love of a Grandma and Grandpa who adore her. You may ask why? Why? Because my parent's are both passed away and Jenny's mom has passed away. Well, what about her dad you may ask? He remarried (6 months after Jenny's mom passed away) and they could care less about their newest grandchild. Ok, that is an exgarration, but the are indifferent towards her. They have 19 grandchildren between the two of them and Mia is just one of the 19. In reality Jenny's dad has 6 and step mom has 13, but who's counting. During the winter they are in Florida and when they are in Michigan during the summer we may see them 2 or 3 times. Mia has no idea who they are and they haven't called once since October to see how she (or us) is doing. It is a sad reality, because they are indifferent. I grew up with the BEST grandma EVER and I want nothing more than that for Mia, but she will never have it and it makes me jealous and sad that other people do. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't take it away from anyone, but I just wish I had it too. Being a mom makes you want your mom, but mine has been gone for a little over 5 years and Jenny's has been gone for 12 years.

As I sit here teary eyed I know our mom's are somehow somewhere watching over us loving Mia, but we can't see it, feel it, hear it, and we can tell her, but without the love, kisses, hugs, praise, and the joy of going to Grandma's because she will let you get away with anything she is really missing out. Like eating cookies and ice cream for breakfast. Sleeping in the bed with her while she scratches your back and never wanting to leave, because you have the best Grandma ever who of course lets you get away with anything.

This is my green monster.